Midnight Thoughts 01.11.2012

I’ve seen a lot of discussion on a spoken word a guy did on why he hates religion, but loves Jesus.  Being the curious, socially conscious, and catholic person I am, I decided to check it out and see what all the fuss was about.  Going into the video I didn’t really have much of a grip with what the title said.  I’ve always held to my beliefs that what you believe in shouldn’t be defined by the group you’re a part of, religion included, and because of that, I’ve always had, I guess you could say, more liberal views on my Catholic beliefs.  After watching it, I won’t lie; there was a lot of stuff he said that I agreed with.  

The church is built on man and like man, it has its flaws. I’ll admit, not all of its teachings really connect with me, the biggest one being gay marriage.  Who says a man and a man, or a woman and a woman for that matter, are not allowed to love one another?  Whets wrong with giving them the sacrament of marriage within the walls of a church?  Are they not embodying the things God wishes for us to have within the foundations of a family?  I’ve always disagreed with the more extreme side of the church.  I mean condemning someone to hell for just one single reason that wasn’t a choice, but an aspect of who they are, feels like a violation of the beliefs I thought Christianity stood for.  It always sadden me to hear about someone giving up on Christianity because they are gay, bi, or a lesbian since to me, they were the real Catholics because they are the people who believed in what I consider to be the true teachings of God, which is one of Love.  Loving thy neighbor.  Believing in them despite their flaws. To continue believing regardless of the scorn and the hate, I don’t know how to describe that kind of strength.  If I could be half as strong as they are, I’d be a much better man.

The one thing about the video thought that really hit me was when he said, “I was acting like a church kid, while addicted to pornography. /I’d go to church on Sunday, but on Saturday getting faded, /acting as if I was simply created to have sex and get wasted.”  Cuz it’s so true.  We all put on this facade of holiness, when in reality we all continue to sin.  And it feels like this is especially true today, with so many youth out there sporting rosaries around their neck, thinking it makes them cooler and holier just by having those ropes and beads around their necks.  It’s become I’m sad to say a fashion trend, and really makes me sick seeing it.  It makes me want to ask if they knew what that necklace meant, if they’ve ever even used it for prayer.  They’re making a mockery of my beliefs every time they wear it as a statement of superiority rather than a humble declaration of faith.

But like I said, the church was built by man, and like man it has its flaws.  My church, the one I’m apart of willingly and of my whole heart, is built on blood and violence.  People were forced into being a member of it, and cities were burned to the ground in its name.  Many innocent people were murdered and deemed heathens and sinners wrongly in the name of Christianity.  This is a fact.  But do I revoke my membership because of these facts?  No.  I will not.  Why?  Because it is history.  I cannot hold a group of people accountable for wrongs committed by men so long ago.  I cannot look at the sins of the many, and deem the few innocents sinful as well because they are associated with them.  I believe Jesus wouldn’t have done it, and neither will I.  Do I wish for them to acknowledge their past?  Yes, I do, in no way do I wish for them to forget what the church was built on.  I want them to work towards redeeming the church, but no, I don’t believe they should be condemned for it, which is why I continue to believe in the church, even if we may disagree.  I’ll still go to a priest for confession, and Sunday mass for communion because I don’t look at the priest presiding as the embodiment of the church, but a man of faith I should look up to.  A teacher, a confidant, someone I can look to for guidance in forgiving myself for the sins I’ve committed.  I can do all the Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s I want, but if I don’t feel forgiven for what I’ve done, I don’t consider myself forgiven.  A priest may say the sins are gone, but the scars of my wrong doings will always stay with me.  How I learn from those scars, that’s up to me.  It’s like family really; the church is a part of my family.  That doesn’t mean I always agree with them, but that should never mean we aren’t entitled to our own opinions. 

The church is an interpretation of what God is trying to tell us through hundreds of thousands of voices.  Some of them are probably getting it right, but with so many voices trying to make theirs heard, it’s tough to get the right message, which is why I rely on my own faith in God to guide me.  God gave us the Bible, His most holy book, to guide us and teach us on our journeys through life.  How we interpret His word is really up to us, He gave us the ability to interpret the word, so why only take one person’s word for it?  Now before you get mad at me for saying, “you don’t have to believe in the church,” let me just say that I believe we are allowed our own personal beliefs, but what is required of us is to share them and learn from one another’s beliefs as well.  We all hold a piece of the puzzle that is faith, and by putting it all together I believe we can piece the big picture together as one family, in Christ.

Amen